Redhawk Radio exec members Annie Eyre, Ashley Marmer, and Clayton Tarantino watched the critically-ignored Netflix original Tall Girl this past Tuesday night. General Manager Meg Matthias also watched it, but at a separate date. Here are their thoughts on the unsung hero of the film: Stig.
“The bigger they are, the harder they fall.” And fall they did, as the writers of Netflix’s new teen dramedy Tall Girl do less than deliver a digestible narrative. At the core of the issue is the treatment of Stig: the beautiful Swedish boy, the long-haired innocent, as he is pawned and mutilated throughout Tall Girl’s 101 minute slog of a runtime. Stig, new to America, scampers around his new digs doing what any self-respecting teen stranger would do: he screws over all of his enemies, friends, and PG-rated lovers in a mad-grab for the top.
Stealing Stig’s hard earned protagonism is the unrelatable Jodi. Jodi is tall. Jodi is sad. Jodi is sad because she is tall. As an audience, we are to take this as a basis for sympathy. Viewers were supposed to say, “Ohhhhh, poor Jodi, she is the main character because she is sad and deserves happiness. Clearly, she is entitled to character development and the majority of screen time.” The only truth in this notion is Jodi’s entitlement.
Where does true, soul-affirming character relatability lie? It lies in Stig’s primal desires: claw, grasp, punish, lie, cheat, seduce, and mutter “Dunkers.”
(Aside: Was Stig, somehow, in love with Dunkers? He looked metaphorically up, though literally down, to Dunkers as the key to his American experience, and the late-night conversations in their pajamas manage to be pretty sexually charged despite Dunkers’ unappealing milk-crate of a personality.)
Here’s the thing about Stig: Who among us wouldn’t become a certifiable jerk monster if given the chance to be the most popular kid at a foreign high school? Like, sure, Kimmy is boring and also a bully, but—more importantly—she is hot! We would also date Kimmy over Tall Girl Jodi because she’s popular and cool and has a personality that transcends her height!
Also, it is very important to note that Stig didn’t actually do anything that wrong in the one-week timespan of this film. I’m pretty sure the only villainous thing he did was joke that Jodi was “too in love with him” at a party, when he was drunk. It’s not even a lie! Jodi was too in love with him, and all she cared about was the fact that he was tall and spoke in an unintelligible accent.
Our hot take on Stig is that his flaw rests not in his short-lived bullying stint. Rather, it’s the fact that his favorite musicals seem to be Oklahoma! and Cats. These are universally considered bad and boring (much like Jodi herself?). Get some better opinions, Stig.
Imperfections aside, we just really really want Stig to get a standalone film that has the exact same plot as this garbage pile movie, only from his perspective. Give us a montage of him saying “Dunkers” with a beautiful solo piano performance bopping in the background! Give us a five-minute sequence of him and Kimmy talking about how popular and hot they are! Most importantly, let Stig stomp on Dunkers’ milk crate. We hate that milk crate.
If you agree with us, please get a permanent tattoo on your face that says “Justice4Stig.” It’s the least we can do for our “Swedish” popular boy musical-loving hero goblin.